DEAR RUSSELL

Russell Brand interviewing Iranian comedian Omid Djalili.


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Dear Russell, Matt and team (with Trevor being sadly missed),

I'm writing to thank you for the grand service you provide in cheering up a nostalgic ex-pat living in the Islamic Republic of Iran. A fine mix familiar tunes and juvenile behavior (made more so in the absence of Trevor) lifts the spirits for the working week ahead.

I'm not quite sure I'd want to translate that British citizens are calling a radio show pleading for advice on how to avoid friends pissing on their legs

Listening to the show is quite a laborious task and not made any easier by the circa 1998 connection speed. Dodging the IT guys hawking building in search of the culprit responsible for bumming all the bandwidth is a frustrating deviation from your verbal ramblings. Then having to explain why I'm folded over, ripping the earphones out in tears of suppressed laughter is my next problem. The strange looks from my colleagues who are poised with concern is a tad embarrassing. I'm not quite sure I'd want to translate that British citizens are calling a radio show pleading for advice on how to avoid friends pissing on their legs in the showers or about the reasoning for dolphins hooking their cocks on the slack of one's shorts.

Speaking of piss, work and living in strange places, I've just recently been kicked out of my grandmother's where I suffered a temporary stay while seeking new residence. Her official reasons for not wanting to endure me any longer were: 1. that I piss standing up (back-splash I guess, although I do wash the surrounding area of the hole in the ground) and 2. that I spend too much money. I found these reasons odd as she is unable to verify either. My next available living option adds an additional 3-hours commute to my day and quadruples the travel expense, thus nullifying 50% of her argument – I'm not sure I'd want to contest the other.

OK, it's been a sore subject for me lately and one I actually contemplated calling and pleading "help!" over.

Congratulations on being the number one downloaded Podcast, I hope you get around to finally dishing out some promised ice-cream and all the best of luck in your campaign of freeing Tibet from Chinese occupation.

Keep up the good work.

ddmmyyyy

Russell Brand's weekly radio show on BBC Radio 2 can be found here.